How to support a loved one who is struggling

May 12

It’s hard watching someone you love suffer emotionally. You may notice changes in their behaviour, energy, or mood—but feel unsure how to help without overstepping. Many people in your position ask: What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make it worse?

The good news is that support doesn't have to be perfect to be powerful. As a therapist for families in London, I’ve seen how deeply meaningful it can be when someone simply shows up with care, curiosity, and consistency. In this post, you’ll learn how to recognise the signs, what to say (and what not to), and why professional therapy can be a vital part of long-term healing.

Recognising the Signs: When Someone Might Need Mental Health Support

Mental health challenges often go unspoken, especially in cultures or families where emotions are rarely addressed openly. However, certain signs may indicate that your loved one could benefit from extra support:

Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed

Constant fatigue, low energy, or difficulty sleeping
Changes in appetite, weight, or hygiene
Irritability, mood swings, or emotional numbness
Expressing hopelessness or feeling like a burden
Talking about stress, anxiety, or feeling "not quite themselves"
If you’ve noticed more than one of these signs over the past few weeks, it may be time to gently open a conversation.

How to Offer Support: The Dos and Don’ts

Your role isn’t to fix everything—it’s to be present, patient, and supportive. Here are some helpful approaches when you’re reaching out to someone who may be struggling:

✅ DO:

Start with care: Try, “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately—how are you doing?”
Listen without fixing: Resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. Just being there matters.
Validate their feelings: Say things like, “That sounds really tough” or “It makes sense you feel that way.”
Encourage professional support: Gently suggest they might benefit from speaking to a therapist.
Look after yourself too: Supporting someone else starts with maintaining your own emotional balance.

❌ DON’T:

Don’t dismiss their feelings (“You’re just tired” or “You’ll get over it”)
Don’t pressure them to open up before they’re ready
Don’t make it about your fear or frustration
Don’t try to “cheer them up” with toxic positivity
Don’t take on the role of therapist—it’s too much for one person to hold

How Therapy Can Be a Key Part of Lasting Support

While friends and family provide essential emotional scaffolding, mental health conditions often require specialised care. A qualified therapist offers more than a listening ear—they provide structured, evidence-based strategies for healing.

Therapy for families can also be incredibly helpful. It supports not only the person struggling, but also those around them. You can learn how to communicate more effectively, navigate boundaries, and support without burning out.

Professional mental health support creates a safe space where your loved one can explore their challenges without judgment, guided by someone trained to hold their complexity with compassion and clarity.

Supporting Loved Ones Isn’t About Having All the Answers—It’s About Showing Up

You don’t need to have the perfect words. You just need to be real, present, and willing to walk alongside your loved one. And when you recognise it’s time for more support, online therapy can be the next step toward healing—for them and for you.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re supporting someone who’s struggling—or you’re feeling the emotional toll yourself—help is available.

I offer compassionate, culturally informed therapy for individuals and families in London, including those from South Asian backgrounds navigating the complex layers of emotional stress and silence.

🔗 Schedule a free consultation today to learn how therapy can support both you and your loved one in creating space for real, lasting change.

About the Author:
Raisa Luther is a Clinical Psychologist based in London, specialising in trauma therapy and culturally sensitive care for South Asian individuals and families. With over a decade of experience, she helps clients navigate complex emotional challenges—including intergenerational trauma, identity struggles, and burnout—with compassion,