4 signs therapy is working

Starting therapy can feel like a big leap—especially if you’ve spent years holding it all together, saying “I’m fine,” and putting others first. For high-functioning, people-pleasing South Asian women, it can take time to trust that this space is for you.

But once you're in it, you may wonder:

“Is this actually working?”
“Shouldn’t I feel better by now?”
“What does progress even look like?”

Therapy isn’t always a straight line. Sometimes growth is subtle. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. But there are signs that healing is unfolding—even if it doesn’t look how you expected.

1. You’re Feeling More—Not Less

Many clients expect therapy to make them feel calmer right away. But one of the first signs it’s working is that you start feeling more—grief, anger, confusion, sadness.

This doesn’t mean you’re getting worse. It means your emotional numbness is thawing. You’re allowing yourself to feel what you’ve been suppressing for years—often out of survival or cultural expectation.

Especially for South Asian women who were taught to keep quiet, avoid shame, and stay “strong,” this emotional reawakening is a sign of healing, not failure.

2. You’re Setting Boundaries (Even If It Feels Awkward)

Maybe you're saying “no” more often. Maybe you’re not replying straight away. Maybe you’re starting to notice when you’re overgiving—and pausing.

It might feel clunky or selfish at first. That’s okay. Boundaries don’t always feel empowering in the beginning. But choosing discomfort over resentment? That’s therapy working.

This is especially powerful for high-functioning people pleasers who’ve been conditioned to meet everyone else’s needs first. Small acts of self-protection are major shifts.

3. You’re Noticing Patterns—And Questioning Them

You start to hear your own thoughts and wonder:

• Why am I always the fixer?

• Why do I feel guilty for resting?

• Why do I shut down when I feel vulnerable?

This level of self-awareness is a breakthrough. It means your unconscious patterns are becoming conscious—and when you can see them, you can choose differently.

For many South Asian women, this means questioning cultural conditioning, gender roles, and inherited expectations—creating space for more authentic living.

4.  Your Relationships Are Shifting

As you grow, the dynamics around you may start to change. Some relationships may deepen. Others may feel strained. This can be painful—but it’s often part of real healing.

You’re learning to show up more honestly. You’re no longer performing roles or managing everyone else’s emotions. That creates space for more authentic, reciprocal connection.

It’s not about fixing everyone around you—it’s about becoming more of yourself, with more clarity and less self-abandonment.

Therapy Progress Isn’t Always Linear—But It’s Real

Therapy isn’t about “feeling better” right away. It’s about feeling more whole. More connected. More honest. And more equipped to handle life with intention, not just instinct.

If you’re questioning whether therapy is working, pause and ask:

• Am I more self-aware than I used to be?

• Do I speak to myself more kindly?

• Am I willing to face things I used to avoid?

If the answer is yes—even just sometimes—therapy is working.

About the Author

Raisa Luther is a UK-based clinical psychologist who helps South Asian women break free from people-pleasing, heal generational patterns, and build emotionally grounded lives—on their own terms.